Parents,relatives and society

I am not sure how to start this topic. Everyone talks,shares and likes in social networking websites how loving their parents are and in my mind a question mark appears, Really?

I am not saying my parents never loved me, or they hate me or anything like that. They have brought up me well, fed me well, educated me well. They still care about me in their own way. Everything looks perfect. Then what is the problem?

The problem occurs when the kids grow up and form their own ideas about life. Kids realize that its their life, and they have to live it in their way. No two people think alike, and its the same case for you and your parents.

When we do something out of ordinary our parents are not able to digest it well. They start getting in their kids way. They act and talk like they are doing it for their kids sake, for their better future. But when you take your time and dig, you find that they are simply playing their role in society. Its not love, its role playing they do in order to look good within the boundaries of society.

I have started experiencing this, when I left my job to become a freelancer and when I took trekking and climbing as my serious passion. They never understood what its for me. For them it was out of ordinary, something which you don’t do in the life cycle defined by society. Society has defined a life cycle of study,job,marriage,kids,pension etc. Passion has no place in there. Doing something for the soul is alien to society, unless there is money or any other material reward associated with it. And our parents go strictly with this mechanical life style and ask us to do the same.

I have seen how you can ruin your relationship with parents and relatives, by trying to live your own life. The easiest solution to reduce the tension I found was to stay far from the family and relatives. This is the reason why I stay in Bangalore in spite of being a freelancer.

The same goes with my relatives too. One of my uncle don’t talk to me because of this. Initially he used to give me advice about why I should be serious about life and find a permanent job. I told him my reasons and my view point of living. This happened few times. Nowadays he doesn’t talk to me that much. The only thing I can infer from all of this is that, as long as you keep listening to people and act like a puppet they will love you.

I think we should always introspect before doing something for others thinking that we are helping them. We may end up hurting ourselves and others on the process.



Posted on August 9, 2012, in My thoughts and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. There are two problems.
    First problem is that nobody has ever encouraged anybody who lives/follows a path slightly deviate from the normal flow.people are scared to take a risk.if in the worst case you couldn’t fulfill your plans, there will be a crowd wwaiting to tear you if you make it big,then they would forget all they preached and praise you saying “ah he is our kid.I knew that he would make it.:-):-):-):-):-):-):-)
    Second problem is that nobody knows,even we were not taught,how to do things which we love and how to love ourselves. If somebody tell them that school x is good,they enroll us in that school,if they to hear that coaching center y is great,we end up going short most of the decisions made are for pleasing others(though they will never agree on it) and keeping up the family/personal/professional status in the race

  2. When I first started trekking and random touring around the countryside (sometimes without telling parents & sometimes lying to them that there’re lots of people with me), it was like carrying a 100 kg sack in my stomach… some unexplainable guilt.There is no answer to ‘Why dya want to go?’ except passion and that is not a suitable answer. Now after 4 years the weight has decreased.
    Been planning for a Karnataka wilderness trip-trekking for sooo long but its kinda scared to go not becoz of wild animals but moral police & goons… still in d process of overcoming it…
    In parents’ defense, they’re scared for our safety too. But they too shud understand that being confined to a office-home-office life is also not a solution.

    • Thanks for the comments N.

      I dont think lying to parents is something you should feel guilty for. In some matters they cant simply understand us and we cant understand them. But that shouldnt stop either of us from doing what we want. Remember our parents used to tell us simple lies when we were kids.
      If you really want to travel or do some trek for some serenity please go for it. No matter what it is, your passion is above everything else which really keeps you alive.
      Happy blogging and travelling:)

  3. Vipin you are going good, there are very few people whole really follow their passion… I hope some day people around you will understand you…

    your line — Happy blogging and travelling:) 😉

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