Blog Archives

A perfect partner


For me a perfect partner would be somebody who is open minded and mature. But maturity shouldn’t come at the expense of sensitivity.

By open mindedness, I mean the person is always ready for new experiments or things in life. She knows how to deal with the fear of unknown. She says to herself sometimes ‘why not’ when she begins to doubt the unknown. This is important because when she discovers parts of myself which are not yet known to her, she will be able to welcome it rather than thinking, ‘Oh I didn’t think he was like this’.

Maturity is wisdom. It’s not the same word which we commonly use in our society. Normally we use it, to describe people, who conforms to the societal rules, and being serious about their roles. What I mean by maturity is simply wisdom. It’s more like a state where decisions flow from within and not only from our brain. Or decisions are based on love more than fear(I meant the emotional fear, not the survival fear).

Now comes sensitivity. For me sensitivity is a part of me which quietens my mind when it sees or hears, or anything happens through the sense doors. This quietening leads to my experience of being and joyfulness. There are not a list of things which you can be sensitive to. It can be ANYTHING. It can be the falling of a leaf, a blue sky, the sight of a garbage dump-yard, taste of food in your mouth, even hearing an annoying horn, a smell-good or bad etc.. This part is important in a person, because this helps her to see the little things in me and be happy. With time, sometimes, a relationship can get a bit boring. But when you are sensitive you are taking care of your own entertainment. Simple things about me would make her alive (it’s more like she is already alive, not that I make her alive) which she wouldn’t have noticed at all before.

After reading all this, someone might think I will never find someone so perfect. I completely agree. And that’s okay with me too. I would be happy if I find someone who has some characteristics of all of this, and is ready to work on herself like me. And being in a relationship with such a person, the whole thing becomes one of self discovery and aliveness. For me it’s like dancing with the tune of universe .

Thanks for reading these words. I send you all, lot of love. I hope all of you will find what you are looking for. Thanks.

Advertisements

Some views on Karmic relationships


Today I was reading an article Karmic relationships. In the comment section I came upon this question and I thought I will answer it here.

Question by Shanez:

what if outside forces ( people) get in the way of the relationship? is it considered as a karmic one… i had an amazing relationship (intimacy, trust, sharing,fun times, deep and mutually supportive connection) with a foreigner but his family opposed it from the beginning. in his country approval of the family is paramount if you want to be serious and marry. When he told them they flat out refuse but we still continued seeing each other on/off for a hear and a half. Several times he broke up because he could not handle family pressure ( they wanted him to marry someone of their origin).We always got back together mainly at my initiative. He moved back to his family 5 monts ago and at the same time i took a job opportunity somewhere else. I cannot let him go. I am convinced it is the same for him. We broke off communication 5 months ago, recently i sent him a blank email and he replied to it asking for news. he said he just got married (arranged marriage). he said it has been very challenging in the personnal and work area. Now we are exchanging emails, but don’t really talk about his personnal situation . Is it a karmic relationship?I cannot get out of my head that we are meant to be despite all those obstacles.

Answer(Just my opinion):

As per my understanding everything is Karmic. Sometimes its clear to see the causes and conditions for a situation to happen, but other times its hard to see why its happening.

In your case, first lets look at this from his karmic view. He met a great girl, fell in ‘love’ with her and wanted to marry her. But because of his Karma, he was born in a family with orthodox views. Now he had two choices. Either to act out of fear or out of love. When the action is totally out of love(love for family or for you, the result of action doesn’t matter. Only his intention matters), then he breaks his karmic cycle. But from what you said about, how he still struggles in this area, it looks like his decision was out of fear and he is strengthening his karmic patterns or creating new karmic patterns. From one side, it looks like this is not the working of karma, but all because of family pressure. But no matter what the external pressure is, its always YOU, who lets it affect you.

Now, from your perspective(from what you have written here), you kinda knew that this marriage might not happen. But you were so much in ‘love’ that you didn’t want to think about that possibility. You enjoyed the present moment(which isn’t wrong, problem comes only when we want the present ‘good’ moment to be permanent and not change) and hoped for the best. And this mindset is the result of your karma. Now if you don’t want to repeat this pattern, you have to work on it and move on. The more you feel like a victim of circumstances the more you will create Karma.

Karma is very complex. Its NOT important to ask yourself, why this is happening to YOU. The question you have to ask in each moment or situation is that, are you acting out of fear or love. Is your decision based on your past experiences or your fear of future. If yes, then you are acting out of your Karmic patterns and life is giving you a chance to break the cycle.

My answer is based on my understanding of Karma and what I understood from the question. I don’t claim this is the correct(its a relative word anyway) answer.

Thanks and good luck.